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xjennakillzx

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Passion.

2 min read
Hello watchers. I'm kinda new here and just want to vent. If you have any advice I'd love to hear it. So as you can tell im not the best drawer. It won't stop me from trying but i have a terribly low self esteem. My passion is cooking and baking. I wish i could go to school for it. I wish my life was different. Everyday i read stories or see something or watch tv and all these people are doing things i wanted to do as a child. I wanted to sing in front of people, (which i still do in the car but its not good haha and im shy), i wanted to write, (i have lots of ideas i just dont think anyone will care), i wanted to play an instrument or become well known, (i fail at everything), i want to own a resturant and express my artistic side through foods and desserts (i try and im still not confident). I'm 25 years old for goodness sakes and i feel like my life is amounting to nothing but bullshit and trouble and i just want to do more. I want to save so i can be stable and focus on things i WANT to do instead of waking up and doing stuff i HAVE to do just to get by. All this stress made me miscarry and that is all i think about constantly. I'm pretty good at hiding it let me tell you that. No one really knows how that impacted me. On top of that I'm dealing with Cervical Cancer and dumb doctors. How do you guys stay strong? How do you do the things you love? Did you ever have to do something you hated to survive so that one day, hopefully soon, you can be happy? P.s i love photography i love taking pictures i wish i could do that too. Comment or message me. Sorry for the long rant.
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Passion. by xjennakillzx, journal